An exciting story of criminals, derring-do & kitchen couture….
A funny story to end 2023 that’s worth a read from of a couple of our guests Kent & Zara who visited us earlier this year:
A few months back we had a dramatic and exciting episode at our place, in which the genuine Hapuku Kitchen™ apron played a starring role. So I thought I’d interrupt your impending New Year with exciting stories of criminals, derring-do and kitchen couture, just for some light relief.
Next door to us we have the most lovely neighbours. They have a weekender up the North Island coast a bit, so they’re away some weekends – and as they’re retired, sometimes away for a bit longer. So we were making dinner one Thursday evening when they were away, and as I rather like the rather slimming and very fetching line of a good kitchen apron, I was wearing the Hapuku Kitchen item you’d given us when we attended the cooking school earlier in the year. I thought I looked rather chef-like.
So we’re sitting down to dinner – just pasta, don’t ask – and what sounds like a car alarm goes off in the street. We didn’t think much of it, but it goes on for a while so Zara goes up to investigate. She comes back in and says it’s the house alarm at the place next door – which was odd, because they haven’t had any false alarms in the three years we’ve been here. So I grab the old umbrella from beside the door to ward off the drizzle and we go over to their place to take a look.
As we get there, the alarm stops, so we figure it’s just a dodgy sensor or something. But just as we turn around to head home, it starts up again, curious …..… so we decide to walk around their house and make sure everything is OK. We head down to their back door, and Zara notices the side window has been levered open, so she gets on the phone and calls the Police.
I decide to take a look down the side of the house to see if anyone is there, and as I get around to the driveway Zara screams out that someone is escaping from the house…… the burglar had jumped out the window, pushed past her and was heading in my direction.
So as this burglarising muppet comes around the side of the house, I rush at him, yelling at him to f--- off, and start whacking at him with the umbrella. It’s a tired old Kiwirail number with very little spring in its step, but it makes a useful weapon as I flail away at him, to not much effect.
He and I tussle for a few seconds, then he decides that a crazed yelling Boomer with a brolly is all a bit much, so he heads for the fence and manages to squeeze under it as I whack away at him … I then give chase, as he runs off down the road.
I rush at him, yelling at him to f--- off, and start whacking at him with the umbrella.
In the meantime Zara has been narrating this whole escapade to the Police on the phone, and within a few minutes they show up in great force. The burglar idiot has scarpered through the neighbourhood reserve so they release the dog to go chase him, but unfortunately don’t succeed in finding the guy.
So, there the two of us are, outside the neighbours place, giving the cops a blow-by-blow description of the whole altercation, with me still dressed in the fashionable Hapuku Kitchen apron … which, by this point I’d totally forgotten I still had on. Seeing all the antics, all the neighbours had now gathered around, I like to think I was doing a fair bit of passive advertising for your fine establishment.
After we’ve been pontificating and pointing for a while, the Police ask us to “accompany them” down to the station to make a formal statement, which without any delay we do.
When we get down there, the two Constables who had responded to Zara’s call confess to have been hugely entertained by the whole thing ….… the nutcase yelling Boomer, the flailing umbrella, but mostly by the fact that I’d continued to wear the kitchen apron throughout the whole thing, including talking to the cops on the street. Apparently it made their night.
Of course, the Hapuku Kitchen item now goes by its official title of “the combat apron”, but I’m sure it’s really proud of the role it played in keeping Parnell safe from third-rate burglars. Perhaps we should add all this to a Google review or similar, so future cooking school attendees know exactly how versatile & heroic a simple Hapuku Kitchen apron really is!!
Anyway, we trust things are well in your world, and with any luck we’ll find an excuse to be down Kaikōura way again this year.
All the best
Kent & Zara